I recently turned 59 and with each passing year I’m acutely aware of how lucky I am to be alive and how precious the remaining days are that we have left on earth.
While we don’t get to decide how many days we have left, we do get to choose how we’re going to live them. And for me (and probably you too), I want to live them feeling as fully alive as possible.
So how do we do this?
Perhaps, the best starting place is to get clear on how NOT to live fully. Here are a few things I’m going to challenge you to NOT to do, or at least, to spend a hell of a lot less time and energy doing. Ready?
STOP or Do Less …
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Worrying – The grand majority of the things you worry about are likely to not come to fruition. And if they do, you’re better equipped to handle the situation than you think you are.
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Waiting – If you have something in your heart that you’re craving to do or experience… Do it. Make it easy. Take small consistent steps and start now. There may never be a better time.
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Should-ing – Stop should-ing away your time so you can say yes to more of the things that matter to you. And above all else, stop trying to be who you think you “should” be. It’s exhausting and wouldn’t life be better if you fully embraced who you already are?
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Being Indecisive – Not making a decision can be a very heavy weight to carry. Chances are you know what you want but aren’t yet ready to declare it. And the only way you’re going to get clear is by getting out of your head and into action.
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Multi-tasking – I know you have a lot on your plate but you can’t effectively do more than one thing at once. AND BEING PRESENT TO YOUR LIFE is the surest way to being happier, more grateful and at peace.
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Putting yourself last – You deserve to be first on your list and when you’re happy, and well you bring the best of you to all you do. And there’s a side bene …When you take care of yourself and do the things you love, you’re give those around you the permission to do the same.
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Non-stop DOing – You’re a “human being”, not a “human doing” and being busy all the time doesn’t render you more worthy. Give yourself permission to say “ENOUGH!” at the end of each day so you can reset and simply BE.
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Playing small – You have strengths and gifts and talents and the world misses out if you don’t share them. Own your accomplishments, lean into your strengths, do your thing and don’t let anyone dim your light.
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Beating yourself up – Enough already! You did the best you could with the info you had at the moment. Treat yourself the way you would treat a great friend.
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Letting your self-critic be in charge – That “voice” (you know the one) is just doing it’s job: to keep you safe. It’s not going away, so don’t let it be in charge. If you do, you’ve given up the reins to your life.
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Seeking validation – You’re the boss of you and the only opinion that truly matters is your own. You don’t need anyone else to approve. You’re the one with the permission slip.
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Striving for “perfection” – The world doesn’t require you to be perfect but it does require that you show up. Ditch perfection and strive for “pretty damn good”. You’ll be a lot less stressed and enjoy the journey more.
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Avoiding – How much energy have you wasted avoiding the thing that you’re afraid of or overwhelmed by? Face your fear and do the thing. Start in small doses and you’ll see your courage grow.
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Comparing – We can all find people that are thinner, smarter, richer, … and appear happier… than us. The best and only person to compare yourself to is the person you were yesterday.
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…. and whatever else doesn’t help you be the person you want to be and live the life you want to live.
And, very importantly…
Say more YES’s to the people and things that truly light you up!